Kenapa seh manusia diberi perasaan ama Tuhan dan yang beda2 lagi? Kenapa ada ego, emosi dan kenapa pula seringkali hal2 tersebut yang mengontrol pikiran, perkataan dan perbuatan2 kita?

Emosi mengambil alih logika banyak orang, emosi bisa menjauhkan kita dari orang2 yang kita sayang, yang dekat dengan kita. Tapi bukankah Tuhan juga menciptakan rasa sesal? Apakan hanya beberapa orang yang punya rasa sesal? 

knapa pula membiarkan rasa sensitif menjadi benteng atau tembok persahabatan? knapa membiarkan rasa kesal menghancurkan persahabatan? sebegitu mudah kah persahabatan dipecahkan? mengapa rela membiarkan perasaan mengambil alih sesuatu yang dengan tidak mudah kita bangun? bukan dengan sekejap mata kita berteman, bukan dalam semenit lalu kita menjadi dekat, tapi hanya dengan satu peristiwa, satu macam perasaan, kau menjadi jauh, menjadi orang lain bagiku.

haish, sebegitu susah kah? perlu kah? apa seh yang kau mau dari sebuah persahabatan? pengertian? kata2 yang mau kau dengar? dunia ini tak sebegitu indah, hai temanku. aku disini untuk menemani menjalani semua itu, untuk membantu-mu. membantu bukan berarti selalu setuju dengan pendapat, perkataan mu. Jangan kau pikir aku orang yang tak punya perasaan. tak pernah marah, tak pernah kesal. Aku pun sepertimu, tak luput dari salah, tak luput dari rasa kecewa yang kau beri. Tapi aku tidak menelantarkan kau begitu saja. Teman adalah Teman, selamanya pun tetap Teman.

hmm.. hmm.. hmm.. really glad to have you as a friend, a close friend, yet you let your feeling take over our friendship. but, what is done, is done. I can only hope the best for you, my friend.

Already i woke up not with a good mood. I have the weirdest dream ever.

Here’s what i remember from the dream: I was so annoyed by you-know-who and so i started confronting her, and as usual i cried. On the other hand, she took it pretty well, didn’t feel guilty, nothing at all, instead she was laughing at me and say like, “it wasn’t my fault, i’ve got nothing to lose”, and giving me the face ” i don’t give a F*** about you” and she said, i don’t even care about others around me as long as i know that i’m happy.

And then i woke up, with my eyes a bit swollen, almost like as if i just cried and plus a very very awful mood and another plus thing is the weather SUCKSSSS!!!  Vancouver is a beautiful city but during this period, it is the most depressing city ever….

So, i’m still feeling “blar blar” so agitated, annoyed, and all sorts of feeling that i could possibly feel. How could people be so inconsiderate of others?? (this doesn’t concern anything from the dream) 

Are we living in a world full of scenes and dramas? You think you know someone really well, but yet, it’s a series of scenes that they are playing. Where is the true you??

God, please give me the patience to overcome my weaknesses.

I’ve a good recipe for this cold winter, it’s for people who likes soup though. For ppl who don’t like soup, you may not like it, but why not give it a try?

Fishballs ( as many as you like, different kinds)

a sachet of Lee Kum Kee Chicken Soup sauce

Any kind of vegetable you like

udon

Tofu and mushrooms

Instructions : Boil some water, enough to boil all the ingeredients, put fishballs and tofu and mushroom and veggie to the boiling water, and a sachet of the LKK Sauce (if you’re cooking for a lot of people, but just for yourself, 1/4 of the sachet is enough), put in some salt, pepper, sesame oil and fish sauce. Stir them together in the pot. and then put in the udon 4 mins before you’re eating them.

you can serve it with rice or just it them like that. =P

it’s always a pleasure eating hot pot during winter time. Have fun trying!!!

when people say unfair, which point of view they are seeing it from??

their own or others?? From my point of view, i see my life in fair-unfair way..

I feel unfair whenever i get jealous over something that i could not have. For me, it’s natural, because the grass are always greener on the other side. I just have to see the positive side of it, don’t i? You can’t have everything you want, or else, you will not learn to appreciate what been  given to you.

I see a lot of my friends working hard, studying as much as they could, sometimes i wonder, have i put in as much effort as they do? I realized that i’m not as hard working as they are, but at least i’m working here. On the other side, i see people who are slacking off, but refuse to admit that. They spent most of their time watching korean dramas, animes. They have no effort, doing last minute paper or studying, but they just got away with it. They still earn the same or sometimes more compared to people who’s working their ass off.

This is how i see it from my point of view. Could it be so unfair?

gw selama 8 bulan nge-bersihin sampah2 lo gak pernah gw sekali pun blg kalo rumah udah kayak kandang babi…maksud lo apa seh?? kalo emank lo gak seneng.. blg donk..baru bersihin rumah beberapa kali aja udah gitu… gak perlu deh.. lagian bersihnya lo tuh masih kotor tau.. ngaca kaliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

beteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

sebelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

kalo rumah ini kandang babi.. lo tuh babinyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa….

udah gendut gak tau diri lagiiiiiiii… DRAMA QUEENNNNNN!!!!!!!

hidup penuh dengan drama… which one is the real you??????????

Once upon a time, when Vancouver is so gloomy, there’s a girl sitting in the skytrain. She was on her way to school. When the skytrain was stopping at the Royal Oak station, she saw a homeless picking up a cigarette butt, a strong feeling struck her, she wasn’t sure if it’s the weather, or it’s really her feeling towards the homeless. She thought to herself, ” God made us the way we are, but why would He made homeless, a homeless?” and she prayed for all the poor, homeless, and the elderly.

 During her bible study, the girl told Amber, and she cried. Her tears just flowed down purely of her feeling for the homeless. She has this thought of ” her purpose coming here is maybe about to know and learn about God. And share it to the people” so that’s it about the girl.

Now it’s time for Me. I hung out with Jeslin today, went to metrotown, bought some groceries and today’s menu are Nasi Uduk, Soto Ayam, and kerupuk Udang from yesterday.. It’s yummy yummm.. and then i talked to Anas, thought she was crying over her mid-term. hahaha.. Silly thought. I always have this silly thought, more of negative though.

I miss my honey.. haven’t really got the chance to talk to him, i always feel asleep so quickly, and sometimes we were just so busy with our own lives. What would it be if we’re even further.. aaaaaaahhhhhh..

eniwei, i’ve got 2 quizzes coming up.. cramming up my weekend, so i can really make full use of it.. i’m counting my time before going backk.. gonnaa miss everyone here.. just realize that it’s just 2 and half more months to go. can’t believe the time has past so quickly. huhuhuhu.. dun’t wanna go!!!

back to studying.. zzzzzzzz

I’ve known blogging for quiet a long time. Used to always read my friends’ blogs, esp Jeda’s. It always has something interesting, so i thought why not have one myself? and that’s how it all started. I always kind of shy to share, cause some people think it’s kind of private, but when i read jeda’s it sort of tell me what sort of situation she’s in. although we seldom talk, at least i know when she’s in bad mood, or happy or she has some problems. i think that’s what blogs are for and also friends. =P tul tak je?? hehehe

So, today was not a bad day, got to eat bakmi goreng, ayam goreng, and soup, all made by felli’s mom. Thank you Felli’s mom and family. Her mom also gave me the kerupuk udang.. ohh how i miss my hometown, my family, esp dad. I miss Indonesian’s food.. but it’s just gonna be a couple more months and off i go back.

I’m so gonna miss Vancouver, it’s the best city ever. I’m gonna miss the rain, the sky train, the food, the fresh air, everything. Surely i will miss my friends ohhh… i gotta make new friends again, my life’s been full of friends, but i never got the chance to get close to one and stick with him/her forever. be like ” BFF” thing. well, it’s okay. I just have to look at the bright side rite?

Anyway, i’m trying to make the most of my time left here. The photos was taken when jeslin’s making turkey congee from the thanksgiving turkey leftover. It was quiet but fun. I guess when you’re older, you just want to have dinner with people who are close to you and really understand you.. hehehe.. gonna miss you guys a lot, a lot